The Mommy Switch

We have one or two of those talking puzzles. You know— the kind that meow or moo when you place the correct puzzle piece in the correct spot? Every single night those talking puzzles let out an eerie wail when we turn off the lights. Are they light sensitive? Haunted? Who knows. Well, all it took to bring me to tears at our IFSP meeting today was the mere mention of John. As soon as they started talking about him, I was a goner. I call it the “Mommy Switch.”

Good thing hubby was there to be the rational one. And I had felt pretty good about it. Pretty strong and clear-headed, knew my arguments inside and out. But nope. That Mommy Switch got flicked and I never really recovered.

All of that and still — it went pretty well. Sadly for me, John will have to leave his classroom environment. But in exchange, he will receive six additional hours of ABA at home for a total of 16 hours per week AND get to join another class. Although this class only meets one hour per week, it is sensory-based and with the same teachers he’s had all along, so that’s something. The most important thing is that we are upping the intensity and hopefully this will make a huge difference by the time he goes to school in September.

We are still fiddling with Sam’s program, but it looks like he will get some in-home ABA as well. I don’t know when I’ll ever work (or grocery shop for that matter), but from where I sit tonight, it’s all looking good.


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  • It does seem strange that every child would have the same “cap” in terms of hours. If that is also true in Texas (and it probably is), I wish I could have donated some of my older son’s unused hours to another family who could have really used them.

    I am impressed that Early Intervention provides ABA for you! I’ve never heard of such a thing, but it is very enlightened of them. It’s good that you are pushing to get the services John needs.

    On the housework front, even though I stay home with my kids, I hired someone to help with cleaning. I feel I have to neaten up before she comes, which my husband thinks is funny.

    I was tearful through my whole IFSP meeting for the twins. It’s such a primal feeling–wanting to make everything okay for your children.

  • I’ve heard this phenomenon with the majority of my pals – emotions come to the fore and ‘all is lost.’ [A tape recorder helps keep you on track for later reference]
    Fingers crossed.

  • I have one of those puzzles. Every time I walk past the toy box it says “mooooo.” I know it’s an inanimate object, but I still take it personally.

    On a serious note, I know these times can be so overwhelming. Please know my good wishes are with you.

  • Just to add – isn’t it just typical! You’d think that since they’re TWINS they’d be the same! Mine are inconvenient in that way too, but they’re only brothers!
    Seriously though, I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
    Best wishes

  • During my last IEP meeting (where I addressed autism), I was okay til’ I started talking. Then it was O V E R. I bawled and tried to talk for awhile. I am still waiting on all of the tests to come back but there are days when I still read things, or hear certain songs and just cry.


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