Twins Dad is gone for the week — on business. This means that I’ve been on 24/7 mom duty to two boys who WILL NOT sleep through the night in this hideous apartment. Last night we were up from 2 until 6. I awoke to two boys jumping around on my bed, vying for the spot closest to me. They snuck in, no cries for me to come running — it’s become their late-night act. I marched them both back to their room and attempted to squeeze myself between them on the floor. Crying from one, maniacal laughing from the other. I tried music. I tried rubbing backs. I tried threats and bribes. I offered juice, changed a diaper, THEN changed wet sheets. I yelled, I’m not proud, I have no patience anymore. I threw things across the room — soft things at least, pillows, stuffed animals. There is no fury like that of a mom going on no sleep. And then, I hate to say it, I wanted nothing more than to walk out the door. Just leave. Let someone else do this because I am losing my mind. What kind of mother does that, thinks that. Well, I’m sure I’m not the first. I hope.
At last, Sam was out. John continued his silly talk and puzzle fingers until I held him tightly to my chest, feeling his breath rise and fall as he gave in to sleep, just as the sun started peeking through the edges of the blinds.